Love and hate, get it wrong, she cut me right back down to size.

I just mentioned that I have a love/hate relationship with LUSH. I really do. It's bizarre.

I discovered LUSH a couple years ago right before Valentine's day. I ordered a Soft Coeur, Chocolate Whipstick, Honey I Washed The Kids soap and a Rock Star soap. I ordered these items a week in advance hoping to get them in time for Valentine's Day. They didn't ship until after Valentine's Day.
This surprised me, one who is used to ordering from online retailers like mad and receiving my products within the week.

My items finally arrived and I soon discovered that Honey I Washed The Kids and Soft Coeur smelled like rancid vomit. Rock Star smelled like that pink antibiotic that I had to take when I was little. Whipstick was okay, but it was hard and tasted a little bitter.

After this experience, I'm not sure why I ordered again. There's just something about LUSH... It draws you in. The pictures are so appealing, and the hype! Oh, the hype.

Well, I must have liked something about LUSH, because I ordered about five times in February alone.

Okay, that was a nice little story.

So what do I love and hate about LUSH?

I have tried almost every product that you can get through mail order. Some things I can't do without now. I have not taken a non-LUSH bath in ages! I can't even remember the last time I have.

There are some products that I can't do without now. Christmas Kisses bubble bar, my favorite bath item of all time. Candy Fluff dusting powder, which I once hated. Blue Skies and Fluffy White Clouds, even though I swear I hated patchouli. Avobath, which killed my last cell phone. Jungle conditioner, which sucks for hair but smells incredible. They really make some great products.

However, they keep raising the prices and discontinuing things! They say that they are this ethical green company that is just so down-to-earth and whatever. They really love to toot their own horn, in a big way. They lack sufficient packaging! Showergel bottles that shatter every time I order one, shitty black pots that leak like mad, deli paper and thin plastic bags on the rest. I know that the packaging is part of their philosophy, but ew, soap in deli paper. It's not that bad if you only consistently use one product at a time, but there's no way to nicely store the products if you like to rotate.

Every single time I order, my order is messed up in some way. Taking a month to ship, missing items, moldy items (!!!), wrong items, broken items, leaking items that ruin the rest, demolished shipping box, no packing material or way too much packing material, the list goes on. It's like mail order can't get it together. Trained monkeys could do a better job of "picking and packing" mail order packages.

Customer service bites ass too. If they mess up and you end up with a moldy massage bar (like me) or a shattered showergel or five (like me) they want you to MAIL IT BACK TO CANADA AT YOUR EXPENSE before they will resolve your problem. What. The. Fuck. So you're telling me that since you messed up, I have to foot the bill? Not happening.

I wish they would make matching products. Their lotion section is disgustingly lacking in good products. They should have matching scent lines- Rock Star soap and Candy Fluff powder? How about a lotion and perfume to go with that. People would LOVE that! American cream lotion! I would LOVE a Blue Skies product line! Are you listening, LUSH?

They also need fewer crappy, drying soaps and more showergels. The soaps are murder on my skin. All I do with them now is keep them around to sniff.


The bubble bars are truly great products. I have tons of them on hand at all times, my favorites being, of course, Christmas Kisses and Blue Skies, but I also love Creamy Candy, Flosty Gritter and The Comforter. Hell, I really like all of them except Hot Milk, which I think may be discontinued. Bubble bars are small and compact, come in a variety of scents, can be used 2-4 times depending on the size and amount of bubbles you want, and I don't see how these could possibly go bad.

The bombs are meh, whatever. They totally lose scent once in the water, with the exception of Avobath. They are pretty and smell nice, and are good for scenting things (car, underwear drawer, closet...) Just not Youki-Hi. I have never had a bath product trigger my gag reflex as violently as that did. *shudder*

Some of the products I used to hate, I now love, or at least like. Honey I Washed The Kids. Smelled more awful than I could describe. Now, on certain days, I kinda like the smell. Snow Fairy/Candy Fluff/Rock Star. It's still weird, but now I'm addicted and I love it. The Soft Touch. I thought it should have been named the disgusting awful rotten fruit touch, but after letting it sit a few months it almost smells like vanilla and I kinda like it.

I've only been to an actual LUSH store twice. Ew. Picture every single item laid out on display with no covering or packaging, and everyone in the store touching, smelling, manhandling, sneezing on, and basically contaminating everything. They then expect you to buy these faded, scentless, broken, manhandled items at full retail price. While you're busy being grossed out by the stack of sticky, lint-covered, fingerprinted massage bars, the pushy salesperson keeps trying to get you to buy shampoo bars and follows you around with a rancid smelling Godiva. No thanks. I'll pass on that one.

So, if you can deal with all the bullshit surrounding LUSH and the headache that is mail order, they have some products worth trying. Just don't get too attached because if you like something, they will discontinue it immediately.